Asking the bigger questions

What is the purpose?

Now stay with me, this is an off-the-top-of-my-head article to basically purge all my thoughts and get my head around what I’m feeling, and the next steps in my journey on this planet.

I have not done much writing to date, I rely on copywriters most of the time. But as a child I loved to write, I wrote short stories and let my imagination run wild, I’m not sure when I stopped writing. Something inside me says I’m not a good writer, and I’m coming to realise this is just a story I’ve been telling ourselves restricting my talents, and also restricting what we spend our time mastering?

This article is questioning our belief systems, and starting to ask the bigger questions about what we’re all really doing, why we’re doing it, and the big one, are we really happy and content with our lives or are we letting society dictate the way we live and the things that hold value for us?

So back to the spending and the jobs we all hate (most of us anyway). We have jobs to pay off our expensive home loans and buy more stuff. And who tells us we need this stuff, the same corporations that convince us we NEED our jobs and to quit would be like committing social suicide. As a 36-year-old, single woman I am at the age where I have started questioning life. Almost 6 years ago left my full-time job to begin freelancing full-time which led to running a small graphic design business. It honestly was the best decision I’ve made, but I do sometimes question where I am in my career at my age and what I think I should have by now based on society’s standards. I started comparing myself to my peers recently, they all have mortgages, full-time jobs and babies, so should I be doing that as well? The questions whirl around in my mind, over and over, it’s the nonstop thought process of, “Are my choices because of what I truly want or because of what my peers are doing?” I went through the process of buying property and then quickly realised my body, mind & spirit were telling me, NO. This isn’t right, don’t do it, you’ll be stuck! I’ve been researching investing in shares instead of buying property and isn‘t that just a whole other topic, financial independence is where I’m wanting to get to and I may write more on that topic as well as I’m learning.

I’ve lived many types of lives, and in many different places over my 36 years and I’ve realised my wants in each circumstance have been different. This might be because I was a different age, and at a different stage of my life but an example is the difference between living in bustling London in my late 20’s to now living in what essentially is a big country town, Brisbane, Queensland Australia in my mid 30’s. Whilst living in London all I dreamed of was traveling Europe, going to cool cocktail bars, and seeing as much live music as possible. Whereas now I’ve been questioning children, marriage, buying a house, and I do think it’s likely because almost all my peers currently, are married, settled and had babies. It’s the thing to do, all the barbeques and parties involve packs of children and husbands bonding over the steak on the BBQ. I do realise it is also because of my age and that us humans don’t have unlimited time to make these decisions, especially the children thing, but again, another topic for another day.

Meanwhile…

I have started researching van life, travel full time and minimising my life, so I can live on less which may enable me to actually enjoy my life. I recently purchased a one-way flight to Canada and so I’ve begun selling countless stacks of crap that occupy my 2 bedroom apartment. Why have I built up so much stuff, which I have carried around with me, house to house (I move a lot). Why did I spend my paychecks every month in the past, on another outfit to wear out, getting drunk and eating out or getting my nails professionally manicured? Covid has taught me many things, not going out as much really forced me to stop shopping and to question why I need this stuff.

I’ve started to budget and look at every dollar that comes in and goes out, I’ve realised my living expenses are not that much when I cut out the “ego” spending and that it’s totally possible to save for my future whilst living a life slightly left of center to the norm. What even is the norm?

I will continue writing on this journey as I go through it, from leaving my safe apartment, to packing my stuff and heading over to Canada with my working visa to see if I can make van life work for me. Wish me luck, I may come crawling back with my tail between my legs but at least I’ve tried and lived and am in the process of fulfilling my biggest mission… to not die with regret.

Home will always be Australia, I know I can come back whenever I am ready, but if I don’t try this, I will be forever wondering, could van life had been for me?